I once had an argument with a good friend of mine concerning what the book of Job was about. I was adamant it was about Job’s faith but my friend said it was about God’s grace and faith. Many, many years later I have to concede my friend was right. Which brings me back to the question “Who am I?” A question I have been trying to answer all my adult life, especially after the birth of my two daughters (over 30 years ago). But on 7th March, 2000 I met Jesus and from then on I really have asked myself “Who am I!”. I hope I have a bit more of an answer now, but I don’t think I have the full answer.
The day I got saved I knew everything was going to be OK, I felt the rosy and and trouble free future ahead of me, and I was going to convert the whole world. But soon troubles and temptations came along, and they keep coming. But that was OK, my head knew the bible said these would come along. But in my heart I started to doubt that I was saved. Then as the troubles and testing became worse my heart felt troubled, but my head still knew that God trained those he loved. But over the years the voice of my heart got louder, “Why is God doing this to me”, “If he loved me why would he do these things to me” and most sadly there were even moments when I questioned is God real!
My heart, and perhaps Satan, were lying to me, and even today they still lie to me. All I have to do is look at my earthly father’s love. My late dad disciplined me, he trained and taught me right from wrong. To do this he loved me, but would correct me if I did wrong. He would make me do things I did not want to do, and was perhaps even frightened of. On rare occasions if that did not work he would, as a final resort, smack me. But not once did I ever doubt that he loved me, and I loved him. Looking back I can see now that all he did was for my good, shaping me into who I am today. He passed away two years ago and I still miss him very much. So how much more does God, the very definition of love and righteousness, love me by, not only gifts, but training and shaping me.
So who am I to question God! Who I am to get cross with him when things don’t go right, who am I to get depressed and downcast in the face of disaster! Was I there when God laid earth’s foundations, was I there when he measured marked them off, when he laid it’s cornerstone, and the sea burst forth from it’s womb! Did I create myself and breath life into me! NO I was not and NO I didn’t! GOD WAS AND DID! God created a whole universe just to have a place to be with us. God knows how EVERYTHING works!
So I say again who am I to question God! I was nothing, a mere filthy rag in his presence (Isaiah 64:6), with no right to be there and no right even to exist. But you know what, that is a wonderful place to be, because as my friend said, it is a place where God will show HIS faith and HIS grace and above all HIS love. Because He loves me so much that he sacrificed all he had (John 3:16), so that I could become a fragrant offering (Ephesians 5:2), and a much loved and desired person to be in his presence. In return I didn’t have to do anything, except love Jesus.
So who am I! I am God’s redeemed son (Galatians 3:5) adopted through Christ (Ephesians 1:5), I am member of God’s family who he loves, and loves enough to shape and mould me into the person he always meant me to be (Proverbs 3:12). If you know Jesus as your saviour, God loves YOU so very much and he works all things for your good (Romans 8:28). So when troubles come, rejoice in your suffering as there is hope, because God loves you THAT MUCH! (Romans 5:2-5). That is who YOU are.
